Sunday, February 23, 2014

14 Weeks

This one is late again.  It has been a crazy weekend!

Baby Emily began to enter this world on Thursday and I went to welcome her, and then she made her appearance on Friday!  I have been best friends with Emily's mom, Ashley, since we were in kindergarten, and her dad, David since middle school.  If it was not for them, I would never have meet the love of my life, my husband, the father of our child!  We could not be more excited about this birth!  Welcome to the world 8lb 2oz, 22in Emily Elisabeth Poppe!  

Saturday Alex and I went furniture and other "house stuff" shopping as well as began registering for our brand new little one.  

Sunday, we began the super cleaning the house to move and packing, visited little Emily one more time, and had our weekly Sunday dinner with my family.  Here we are at Sunday night!

How far along? 14 Weeks
Total Weight Gain: 5 lbs
Maternity Clothes? same maternity pants and leggings.  Have to wear looser shirts, the tighter ones make my belly itchy.  lol.  
Stretch Marks? not yet
Sleep: Starting to get tougher.  Getting back aches, waking up to use the bathroom, and trying to get comfortable with out laying on my back and stomach as I used to.  May as well get used to it I guess.
Best Moment this Week: Telling my students!  They were so happy for us.  I have one little mother hen that keeps checking that I have enough food, other teacher's don't startle me, and that I don't work to hard.  She is so cute, I am loving it.  Also, registering. It is amazing to think about out little one really coming to be with us with the stuff we are selecting.  
Miss Anything? I am doing pretty good.  I think what bothers me the most is being able to pick up/lift anything I want, help others with hard work, and stand on chairs  and snow hills for recess duty with out being scolded
Movement: not yet, but I am so anxious for it!
Food Craving? still love lemonade, but will survive with out it.  Not sure if it is a craving or just a want, but I have had 2 foot long BLTs and then made myself a few more BLTs this week.  SO good!
Anything making you queasy or sick? Phlegm. Talk about it, sniffling it, it dripping, hacking it, anything.  The sound and thought makes me gag.  ewww.  
Have you started to show yet? Yes, a little bump, though I do think its more my organs and baby still hiding behind it because the bump is rather high.  
Bellybutton in or out? In, as the bump grows it is actually getting deeper in for now.  
Gender Prediction:  Still 50/50!  I just cannot decide.
Wedding Rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time? I have my moments but I am mostly happy.  
Looking forward to:  A growing baby and movement!  Also moving into our house.  This week, is catholic schools week make up, conferences make up, and more packing.  Mostly I am looking forward to resting!
Labor Signs? no way, thank God.
Anything Else? The move is finally getting close!  We purchased our washer and dryer, couch and recliner, and dining room table and chairs.  We are so excited to move into our home.  We had a great weekend bonding and getting ready for baby. Meeting Emily has made it surreal.  We are literally going to have a baby in our new home with the stuff we are registering for in around 26 weeks.  I cannot wait to be to be a mommy and set up our own house and live as a happy family in it!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Second Trimester Begins! 13 Weeks

Yay, this one is on time!!

How far along? 13 weeks
Total Weight Gain: 4.5 lbs
Maternity Clothes? 1 pair of work pants, 1 pair of jeans, and leggings.  Still wearing normal shirts.
Stretch Marks? no
Sleep: Still having puppy problems, parents in training apparently!
Best Moment this Week: Watching Kolton win conference, shopping for the first time with my mom for baby things.
Miss Anything? Sitting on bleachers and not feeling like my organs were being compressed. Energy
Movement: no
Food Craving? No, food tastes different still so I wont eat things I used to. Sometimes the foods appear to change day to day.
Anything making you queasy or sick? no
Have you started to show yet? I think so
Bellybutton in or out? In
Gender Prediction: Still 50/50
Wedding Rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time?  I have gotten much more emotional this week.  I have had 2 meltdowns at Alex (over very minor things) and then almost cried about it when telling work staff.  The Badger has been giving me a run for my money-He seems to be mad at me for being pregnant.  Apparently, he only chews my things and only when he knows he wont get caught in the act.  I have been pretty emotional about it and we are going to keep trying to find new things to ease his anxiety and hopefully we both don't have an emotional breakdown in the next few months!
Looking forward to: watching my belly grow, feeling our baby move, and just the pregnancy in general.
Labor Signs? no
Anything Else? We got the 8 foot covered trailer loaded with the first load!  We got the full guest bed, basically all the house decorations, all the holiday decorations, and all the basement boxes, futon, and basement chairs all packed. Badger only chewed one side off of one box (which we just packed anyway).  *face palm* I had been packing slowly and Alex's dad and brother came in and took all of it out for us.  The house is by no means empty but when shelves have no decorations and walls are all empty it is starting to feel like we are moving. There is still plenty to do, though we are trying not to pack to soon because we don't want to pack things we need and knowing Wisconsin, the weather can be ANYTHING, in the next 3 weeks.  We shall see what move in day brings.  22 days till closing!  
It is tricky moving boxes to take the picture!  I wanted to re-do the 3 a million times but Alex said it was good enough and anything more than 15 minutes on a chalk board is just plain silliness.  At least he takes the pictures!
My view!
Yes, my belly is very crooked.  Due to my scoliosis, it is far off to the right.  It may straighten out, it may not. Either way, its quite humorous!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

12 Weeks

**Photo and info was for 12 weeks, February 6, 2014, but just posting now.  Oops!**

How far along? 12 weeks
Total Weight Gain: 2 lbs
Maternity Clothes? yes.  It is nice not to have a button jabbing me in the stomach.  I am loving them.  I just bought jeans, been buying time with leggings and long sweaters too.
Stretch Marks? no
Sleep: pretty normal besides the dog
Best Moment this Week: Hearing the Heartbeat!!  A strong 164 BPM
Miss Anything? energy
Movement: no
Food Craving? drinking tons of lemonade
Anything making you queasy or sick? no
Have you started to show yet? I think it may be a little bit, though still a lot of bloating.
Bellybutton in or out? In, it is sticking further in...maybe the weight gain?
Gender Prediction: I am seriously 50/50
Wedding Rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time? pretty happy
Looking forward to: second trimester!
Labor Signs? no

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Our Journey

Now that we have announced our pregnancy, it is easier to talk about our road to getting here.  It was not easy, but I know we have been blessed with the most amazing of blessings.  I want to share my story to TRY to help someone that has been through what we have or worse.  I want someone out there to know they are not alone.
Many couples have trouble with fertility and for those couples it can end a variety of ways.  They can try and try and finally get pregnant, try and try and finally get the medical help they need to get there, and there are the couples who try and try and get help and try and try and still are unable to have children.

When we were at the point in our lives in which we were ready to have a baby and wanted our family to grow, we prayed were were able.  Then, when it didn't happen the first month, we thought, well it doesn't always happen the first time lets try again.  After a few months of seeing that negative test or getting your period when it is the last thing you could want, we got frustrated.  But, we did not lose hope, we got motivated.

I began trying to eat healthier, and tracking my cycle.  A few more months of that and a few more months of negative tests, and I became sad.

While all this is going on, my friends are having babies, watching their babies grow, getting pregnant and watching their bellies grow.  I love my friends and I am beyond happy for them.  I wouldn't call what I was feeling jealousy, though that is probably what it was.  I never was angry they had what I wanted, I was angry I couldn't be going through this WITH them.  I wanted to share the memories, changes, questions, and experiences.  I felt myself withdraw. I felt I was alone in the world.  It wasn't that they wouldn't understand what I was going through, it was that they couldn't.  I cried.  I cried a lot.  I cried a lot, layed in bed a lot and became a desperate, sad person.

Our journey continues as I become more desperate, more sad and have more negative tests.  I am doing more research, timing things even more, taking my temp, charting, and more.  I had to be able to do this!  The doctor wont see me for a year for infertility so I have to do this on my own.What else could I do? I read a tilted uterus could be the cause-go to the chiropractor to loosen the lower back.  Check.  I read musinex can help with getting pregnant if taken when ovulating.  Check.  Then my chiropractor suggested fish oil, iron and other red blood cell production vitamins, calcium, and vitamin D. Check.  Ok, lets get this show on the road!  At this point it has been 9 months.

 I felt I could do these things for 3 more months, though if they didn't work I was not going to get out of the hole I felt I was in.  My chiropractor and a co-worker suggested that 9 months was close enough to a year and suggested I consult with my doctor to at least get the ball rolling on some tests to deal with fertility. So that is what I did.  I made an appointment with my regular doctor.  She was supportive, totally sympathized, and agreed it was close enough to a year to let me at least start testing.  She was able to do one test, but then suggested I see an OB as they are much better at timing tests and giving the correct ones.  I got a referral.  2 weeks later I was in my OB office for a consult.  He also agreed 9 months was ok to start some tests.  He ran a panel of blood tests and I was scheduled to call when I got my next period to go in for a tubal dye test.  I was nervous but happy to feel like I had some control again and we were on the path to answers.

Fast forward 2 weeks, I am supposed to get my period to call in for that test and low and behold, the period never comes.  We were finally pregnant. Thank GOD!

A friend of my mom's contacted her days after she found out we were pregnant and asked what I did, since she knew somewhat of the journey and had been on a longer, more tear filled, more expensive one than I had and wanted to know what I did.  Looking back, I did so many things that last month before we found out we were expecting I don;t know what it was.  I don;t know if it was the timing we had gotten down to a T,  the myriad of vitamins I went on, the Musinex, the chiropractor, the relief that something was being done and we were moving in a direction of answers, or a combination of some or all of the things.  I shared my journey and told her to try some, all, anything.

All I remember is feeling like I don't know who to talk to.  I don't know who will understand what I am going through.  I was sick of people saying, "It will happen" "In its own time" "Just have faith." I had all those things and believed all those things, I just needed to feel like someone understood my desire, my need, and my want for a child.  I wanted people to tell me it was ok to feel this way, it was ok to be mad, sad, and angry.  Then, I found her.  A co-worker, an amazing friend.  She had been where I was and further.  She got it and she got me.  She was with me 100%   She answered questions, she sympathized, she was angry at the world with me, sad with me, and checked in on me each month.  She was what I needed.  Maybe it was that, on top of everything else that led me to feel that though I am feeling that way doesn't take my faith away that it will happen, it doesn't mean it wont happen, and it doesn't mean I am not normal.

This is why I wanted to write this post.  I want someone out there who will read this to peek over that deep, dark place and see they are not alone. Sure, they are still in a hole and life is still hard, but you are not in that hole alone.  There are others, there are people who go through it.  Unfortunately, the journey of sadness is much less public than the people posting their joys, their success stories, their happiness. There is hope, there are others, and there are people you can talk to--and amazingly, that may be all you need.

For those who are pregnant, have children, or have never been on the journey of that friend-try to see them, try to feel for them, try to be there for them.  No you don't need to hide your child, your pregnancy or your joy.  You just need to understand their sorrow, their sadness, and why they may be where they are.  Just try.  Your trying to be there for them and allowing them to feel, vent, or be where they are will take the alienation away. Trying to hide it is half of the sadness.  Just don't let them fall to deep in that hole.

As I stated in the beginning, there are many ways the journey to parenthood (or lack there of) can go.  I know I am TRULY blessed for how my journey has come.  I know that as dark as I felt, there are others who are going to go darker, deeper, and have less exciting results than I did.  I know those will read this and feel just as I did when someone got pregnant.  I am sorry.  You have every right to feel your sad, your angry.  I wish you the world of happiness and some way of finding the love of a child one day-whether it is from an eventual natural pregnant, medical assistance in getting pregnant, or adoption.  Please, still feel you can talk to someone.  Find your SOMEONE.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

We are Expecting!

Alex and I found out we were expecting on December 15, 2013.  We had a feeling we were expecting on Saturday, but didn't want to take a test while at the Vanden Heuvel Christmas party and have to keep it a secret.  Therefore, we took the test the day after.

I was so excited to take the test I woke up at 4am to take it.  I woke Alex up and made him come with me to look at the results. I told him to check it as I am not good with failed tests (we had our fair share of those).  He told me he has to always check it is my turn.  As I look at the test and read the words pregnant I turn to Alex with wide eyes and told him it was positive.  He being a little under the influence (remember the VH Christmas part was the day before and it is 4am) hugs me and says, "I don't know what to do with my hands, I feel like I am on a rocket ship."  Yes my husband quoted Will Ferrell as we found out we were expecting!

We did the math and knew we would be due in August.  We didn't want to start counting weeks until we knew for sure what week we were in, so we decorated our board for the holidays instead.  We wanted to start tracking the growth and celebrate in the holidays.

The day we found out, about 4 weeks.
EllieFay Photography & Design took our announcement photos!

About 5 weeks
About 6 weeks.
About 7 weeks
We were able to go in for our first appointment on January 6.  At the appointment we confirmed I was 7 weeks 5 days, officially due August 21, 2014, and we got to see our precious little one.

The week leading up to 9 weeks was a big one.
On Monday, Alex turned 26!

Also on Monday, I somehow managed to get my keys stuck in my car due to some security setting so that the battery went dead and I needed a ride to work on Tuesday, which ended up being an early dismissal because of a snow storm.

BUT on Wednesday morning, Alex woke early to snow blow the driveway for me.  He decided to do the neighbors sidewalk as well. He finished and went to turn around and come back home, and he slipped on the ice.  He and the snow blower fell and he hurt his knee. He rested all day but in the end, he could not bend his knee.  We ended up in the ER 12 hours later.  Good thing it was just a severe strain or partially torn meniscus, but nothing was broken or fully torn. **Confession time** I was starving after looking at the house and such right after school.  I normally eat at 4:30 and I could not make it any longer.  We went to our usual $7 burgers at Tanners first.  Then, since it was report card time, I stopped at home to pick up my school bag so I could work on report cards in the waiting room.  AFTER those detours, then I took him the ER***

We started looking for houses when we found out we were expecting. We love the little house we are renting, but thinking of a family of 3 and 2 dogs in 850 square feet was a little stressful.  We looked at 2 houses.  We loved the second one (on a Wednesday-yes Alex trucked through a house with out bending his knee).  Thursday we put in an offer.  After 7 counter offers, our offer was accepted with a contingency.

At 10 Weeks, to the day, we were told our house was a go.  We still do not have the official paperwork, but that should be coming through in the next week. We have a closing date set for March 7!

How far along? 11 weeks
Total Weight Gain: 1.5 lbs
Maternity Clothes? wearing more leggings and borrowing clothes from my mom.  Trying out a hair tie if I can get them over my hips.  I did buy maternity pants because I had a gift card, but don't quite need them yet.
Stretch Marks? Nope, using my lotion to try to avoid them!
Sleep: Badger is going through some sort of sleep regression, so that has been waking us up.  I have also been trying really hard to sleep on my side and it at times wakes me up with a sore shoulder.  I am also getting up to go to the bathroom more.
Best Moment this Week: Signing the paperwork for our new house!
Miss Anything? Not really.  Feeling a little helpless when we are starting to pack and knowing I shouldn't be lifting.
Movement: Not yet, excited for it thought!
Food Craving? I love fruit, orange juice, and lemonade right now.  Not really craving, but that is what I want.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Silly things like gross things on tv and gross sounds and smells make me gag.  Also, emptying the sink drain gets me every time.
Have you started to show yet? I bloat freakishly early, but it is just bloat for now.
Bellybutton in or out? innie still
Gender Prediction: Not sure why, but boy for now.
Wedding Rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time? Pretty Happy. I am nervous and anxious that everything goes well and have my crabby moments, but I have been pretty happy.
Looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat on Monday!
Labor Signs? No way, thank God