Sunday, December 7, 2014
I look at pinterest and see all these perfect families, kid created crafts, photos, and table/party settings. I strive to be that mom--and the perfect teacher I see as well. I want to look like I have it all together, like I can do it all--and be back at work having it all together there too.
Through stressing myself to tears, many phone calls to my mom, nights being held by Alex all because I felt like I was failing Nolan and myself, I have discovered I have "Pinterest syndrome." I have the illusion of what is perfect all while knowing deep down it is unobtainable--but still feeling like a failure when I can't make it all happen in my own home. Turns out, I am not alone.
"Today" did a study, and found that almost half of moms have "pinterest stress." Another article I read stated that a mom was disappointed in her kids art due to pinterest.
I hosted my first holiday party yesterday-my friends' annual "Friendsgiving." I stressed myself to the max trying to find the right table decor, coordinating places, placemats, placecards and more. I just felt like I could not get this right. Finally the day came and It was going to have to be "good enough." It went incredibly well, but then, when putting Nolan to bed, I realized we never got a family picture. I was crushed to the point of tears because I couldn't show him a picture of his first "friendsgiving" when he is older.
Today, I opened facebook and found an article shared by a friend. Mommy's First Christmas talks about how nothing else matters than this is a mommy's first Christmas and all baby needs is you-you are the best gift you can give your baby. This article made me cry, but not the tears I have been shedding for the past few weeks. Reading this totally makes up for the lack of picture and makes me fall even deeper in love with my "best gift ever."
So I sit here while Nolan is finally napping after beginning to what we think is teeth at only 3 1/2 months and look at my tree, look at my toy strewn living room, and realize I have it all. I have a little boy that last Christmas (after months of sadness and a depression over taking so long to get pregnant-Story here) I had just discovered I was going to have. My little boy is healthy when we had some scares he many not be when I was pregnant. My husband is there to hold me and support me when I am being ridiculously hard on myself, I have a mom who helps me stay sane, vent, watch Nolan, offer advice, run errands for me, and even come hold Nolan and coach me through making my first turkey. I have a home to love my family in. I have it all--even if I don't have it all together. I just need to internalize all this.
I am the perfect mom, wife, and teacher, because I am the mom, wife and teacher that everyone needs to be--not the one I picture in the picturesque world of pinterest.
If you, too, have "Pinterest Syndrome" please try to step back, look at all you do have, and maybe log off of pinterest for a short while. You are perfect because you are you. Keep up the good work. Nice Job. Thanks for all you do. And you have a beautiful home, family, and life. Remember that.